Much Ado caused by the Weasleys
by the nutty imp
Summary: A Shakespearean Parody written in a style akin to the original well almost featuring Fred and George Weasley. This crazy author was bored. This is my laughable attempts to massacre some the famous playwright's most notable lines.
1. Act One Scene One

ACT ONE SCENE ONE

Gryffindor Common Room - Enter Fred and George

FRED  
When shall we two prank again?  
Stink sap upon the Slytherins to be rained?

GEORGE  
When the hurlyburly's set.  
Chaos is to be met.

FRED  
It would be ere the set of sun.

GEORGE  
The Weasley Twins are off to have some fun!

FRED  
Shall we then start?

GEORGE  
Soon as the map does its part.

FRED  
Moony and Padfoot calls.

GEORGE  
The Slytherins would soon fall.

BOTH  
The sap is foul, Foul is the sap,  
Let's be off and get that map.

Exit Twins

Enter Harry and Ron

HARRY  
In mine eyes, she is the sweetest girl I've ever looked on.

RON  
Me thinks you need new spectacles, My friend you're far gone.

HARRY  
Have you ever seen such a jewel?

RON  
To you my friend, I throw in the towel.  
Just ask her to the the ball,  
Then you'll have it all.

HARRY  
I can scarce trust myself to ask.

RON  
It is but an easy task.

HARRY  
Cho Chang to be my date,  
I fear rejection is my fate.  
Will you be taking Hermione?

RON  
I'd rather drink venom.  
The girl is possessed by a fury.  
Moreover, she's no beauty.

Exit Harry and Ron

Ginny and Hermione emerged from the shadows

HERMIONE  
Possess by a fury and no beauty am I?  
Ron Weasley, I will not let this passby.

GINNY  
Her long black hair.  
Skin so clear and fair.  
I know I cannot compare.  
But, I do so care.  
Oh Harry, do you not see?  
The one waiting for you is me.

HERMIONE  
Forget about those gits.  
They're not worth your wits.

Exit Ginny and Hermione

Two more figures emerged from the shadows

FRED  
Hear thee brother? Hear Thee?

GEORGE  
Yes! Cupids we will be!

FRED  
I know just the trick.

GEORGE  
Oh your mind works quick.

FRED  
A potion we will brew.

GEORGE  
To turn the Slytherins' hair blue?

FRED  
No you wayward dizzy-eyed moron,  
I mean we create a love potion.

GEORGE  
Then gather the ingredients we shall,  
Right off from old Snape's stall.

Exit Fred and George

END OF ACT ONE SCENE ONE

A/N:  
The beginning part of the Weasley Twins dialogue was taken from Macbeth, Harry and Ron's dialogue was slightly taken from Much Ado About Nothing

Act One Scene Two -- More of the wacky duo and Dobby's request.


	2. Act One Scene Two

ACT ONE SCENE TWO

Inside a secret passage near the Slytherin Commom Room

FRED  
Thrice, those Slytherin snakes hath screamed.

GEORGE  
Thrice, the stink sap onto them sprayed.

FRED  
Alas, a sign that now we run.

GEORGE  
But watching is so much fun.

FRED  
Brother, a potion we still have to brew,  
Tomorrow we can always prank anew.

GEORGE  
As always, you are right,  
I apologize for my hindsight.

Both boys walked deeper into the passage and prepared their potion

FRED  
Round about the cauldron go;  
In this potions things we throw.

BOTH  
Double, double we are trouble;  
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

GEORGE  
A slice of oyster cake,  
In the cauldron boil and bake.  
Sap of rose and Leprechaun gold,  
A golden color thus unfold.

BOTH  
Double, double we are trouble;  
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

FRED  
Scale of dragon. tooth of wolf,  
Fresh water from the eastern gulf,  
Various powders, and oil of citron,  
All ingredients now in the cauldron.

BOTH  
Double, double we are trouble;  
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

GEORGE  
Enough of the dogwood;  
The potion's firm and good.  
Bottle them now, we should  
We are now set for cupid-hood.

FRED  
That soft footfalls like rhythmic drums,  
Something little this way comes.  
Show thyself!  
Honourable House Elf.

Enter Dobby

DOBBY  
Dobby is very sorry to interrupt.  
Pranks and potion, Dobby wish not disrupt.  
A favor Dobby wish to ask,  
This is but an easy task.

FRED  
A favour you say?

GEORGE  
We'll help you any day.

BOTH  
Come high and low.  
What favour does thou wish to sow?

DOBBY  
In my staff, two always fell short,  
Chores they tend to distort.  
Me think its problem with their eyesight,  
They see not well whether it's day or night.  
Spectacles they need, but will accept none.  
These are items to wear, thus they shun.  
Watch over them, whilst Dobby thinks of plan,  
I wish to keep them away from the dust pan.

FRED  
We are honoured that to us, you came.  
We will handle this deed without a name.

DOBBY  
Thou hath touched Dobby's heart,  
I thank you, and will so depart.

Exit Dobby

GEORGE  
So, elves we are to baby-sit?

FRED  
I believe, as our assistants they are fit.

GEORGE  
Dobby said that they are half-blind.

FRED  
They do not see well, we shall not mind.  
Extra hands to our cause is a great find;  
In two, we are no longer confined.

BOTH  
Twins and Elves hand in hand,  
Willing servants at our command.  
An increase in our ranks,  
And thus, twice the pranks.  
Our minds now wound up,  
There's so much to blow up!

Exit Twins

END OF ACT ONE SCENE TWO

Fred and George's lines were derived from Macbeth. Hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing this.

Well am all packed and ready to go ... just thought to leave a quick update

Replies

PranksterPrefect - First (and only) Reviewer! Nope, am having some senseless fun. My only aim here is to massacre some Shakespearean line and have some semblance to a story while I do it.


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